I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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