@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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