so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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