not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize