You don't have asthma, your pregnant
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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