check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
