I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's blow job season.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
