when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was like his penis was on wheels.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize