Kiss
Puke
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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