so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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