it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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