Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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