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• (613): View more from Ontario

  i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife

  Fav 67 8313 2618

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.

  Fav 10 398 726

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Fuck me I smell like cheese

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