I love black thongs
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us