I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"