somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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