you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
