carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
