He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
