How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
