grandma shit on top of the toilet
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
