it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I sprained my soul last night
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
