This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
