I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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