I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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