coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
