I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
