Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
