Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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