My friends, they love my intelligence
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
