i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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