dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
