I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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