I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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