she sounds like chewbacca in bed
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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