So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
