apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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