Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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