Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
