Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize