I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
