How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
