I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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