wat bout pragnant strippers??
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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