I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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