When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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