i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
