I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
