The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
