You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize