mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
