she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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