VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
