she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
