i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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