i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
im holly from the hills drunk
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
