Soap is not a condiment
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
