Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
