Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
