this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
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I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
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Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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