.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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