giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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