there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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