It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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