I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
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I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
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I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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