My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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