I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
