got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
