Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
